Frogman Brigade Rebuffed in Ocean Side Attack

DRIFTWOOD SHORE, OCEAN SIDE — The Royalands’ aquatic strike force suffered a major blow earlier today when Koopa Troopas foiled the group’s efforts to wrest control of Ocean Side away from Wendy O. Koopa. At least seven so-called “frogmen” perished in the ill-fated attack. An estimated dozen more were wounded.

Speaking on behalf of the Mushroom Kingdom military, which oversaw the operation, General T. T. Toadstone placed the blame on the squad’s unique outfits. “The new frog suits move good in the water and let soldiers jump real high, but they’re slow and clumsy on land,” Toadstone said. “We’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

Wendy O. Koopa has occupied the Ocean Side throne since early last year, when her father, King Bowser Koopa, and his children invaded the seven kingdoms bordering the Mushroom Kingdom: the Grasslands, Desert Hill, Ocean Side, Big Island, Nimbus Land, Iced Land, and the Pipe Maze.

With help from its Royalands allies, the Mushroom Kingdom has vigorously fought to free the occupied kingdoms from Koopa control. However, its efforts thus far have been unsuccessful; if anything, the Koopas’ grip on the contested territories only grows tighter.