Ailing King Toadstool Diagnosed With Red-Blue-Yellow Virus

TOADSTOOL CASTLE, MUSHROOM KINGDOM — At long last, doctors have identified what’s plaguing the long-suffering Mushroom Kingdom monarch. According to the latest tests, King Toadstool is suffering from a rare but extremely dangerous disease known as the Red-Blue-Yellow virus, Toad Town physicians claim.

Toadstool first fell ill early last year, when he collapsed during a state dinner. The king has since been confined to his chambers, with the royal doctors monitoring his condition around the clock.

This diagnosis comes as a blow to the king’s loyal subjects, many of whom had hoped that Toadstool would make a full recovery. While certain medications can cure Red-Blue-Yellow, administering them requires intense focus and superb hand-eye coordination. Further, the difficulty of each treatment increases as the disease progresses; King Toadstool is currently suffering a “level 20” infection, the highest on the scale.

With the king indisposed, Princess Peach Toadstool has stepped up as the Mushroom Kingdom’s de facto ruler. She’s aided by the royal chancellor and chief mushroom assistant, Toadworth, and the leader of the Mushroom Kingdom’s military, General T. T. Toadstone.

Symptoms of Red-Blue-Yellow virus include fever, chills, and a feeling most patients describe as “weird.” If you think you may have Red-Blue-Yellow, contact your doctor immediately.