TOAD TOWN, MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Last night, the Toad Town Guard raided the gaming parlor known as The Spade Panel and arrested its owner, Toadsy Tugboat Jr., on gambling charges.
The Toad Town Tribune understands that the raid was ordered by Chancellor Toadsworth himself. Castle sources claim that this is the beginning of a major push against “moral filth and ineptitude” in the Mushroom Kingdom.
“I ain’t an ‘inept dude,’ whatever that means,” Tugboat said moments after posting a 25 coin bail. “My father ran The Spade Panel with no complaints for over 50 years. Not one. This is a disgrace to his legacy, and I will fight it on behalf of proud Tugboats everywhere.”
So-called “spade houses” fall under a gray area in the Mushroom Kingdom constitution. While games of chance are expressly forbidden, the amusements featured at the Spade Panel — and most other spade houses — require a modicum of skill, like memorizing the locations of cards or timing button presses as images scroll by.
Chancellor Toadsworth assumed the position of acting regent of the Mushroom Kingdom after King Bowser Koopa kidnapped Princess Peach Toadstool, leaving the throne effectively empty. While Toadsworth quickly began using his newfound power to “clean up” the kingdom, the complexities in this particular case will likely propel it all the way to the Mushroom Kingdom High Court — which, as chancellor, Toadsworth oversees.
